“Review this” is all the terse email from the editor says. A new single from South African lite-rock-types The Parlotones. Four minutes of earnest vocals, earnest guitars, an earnest piano-led middle 8, and an oh-so-earnest-it-makes-me-want-to-drown-things key change as the whole grinning mess claps and whoops its way to its wistfully naff conclusion.
This isn’t a bad record; this isn’t a good record. It’s simply so blandly inoffensive it might as well be the perfumed trump of a nun’s fart. As in - you probably won’t here it, and even if you did you’d have the sense to keep quiet about it.
The promo video for ‘Here Comes The Man’:
Waking up and finding out you’ve got a record like ‘Here Comes The Man’ to review isn’t the music review-equivalent of waking up and discovering a cancerous lump in your breast/testicle [delete as appropriate]. It’s more like waking up and finding your dog has done an enormous shit under your sofa – it’s a fucking pain in the arse that needs to be dealt with rather than left to stain.
‘Here Comes The Man’ by The Parlotones is out on August 18 on Universal. If you want to subject yourself to them live, go check out their tour dates.
