Credit: Found On Internet

The Beard:Face ratio in Camden Underworld tonight is through the roof. Pretty much the only things that are clean shaven in the basement venue tonight are female, and you suspect that they too would sport luxurious amounts of facial hair if only they had the hormones for it. Yep, heavy rock’n’fucking’roll has come to town tonight.

Italian space rockers El Thule put on a respectable level of racket to open proceedings. Okay, so the drumming’s not too hot when they start up, but by the time they thunder into ‘Children of The Monolith’ – the musical equivalent of standing out in the desert at midnight, dropping lot of hallucinogens and going ”woah” at the stars for 2 hours – they’re a respectably mind-punishingly heavy way to break the crowd in.

Main supports, Solace, look every part the heavy, nasty Doom metal band. Big in beard, belly, brashness and balls, within seconds of picking up their guitars, beer is being thrown across the rapidly swelling mosh pit. It’s not here to make statements that stretch beyond getting your sorry ass down to the front and keeping it there till you’ve got no more moisture to sweat out. By the time they’re done, the assembled throng are desperate for the main event to take to the stage.

Orange Goblin are like Black Sabbath if they’d grown up drinking nothing other than cider and eating nothing but strong cheddar cheese. Coupling huge riffs with even huger band members, they’re not only sound bigger than the Devil, but hard enough to see him out over 12 rounds. Frontman Ben Ward is like a strategically-shaved Wookie. Towering above the proceedings like a Stoner Rock giant, the size of his almost-manic grin is matched only by the volume of his lungs - as shown on set-opener 'Red Web'. When he bellows across the pit, it’s like a wind tunnel has opened up above some monstrous fleshing centipede, such are the number of limbs flailing in all directions.

While the UK metal scene is as fad and fashion-driven as any other music clique – despite what its champions might like to believe – and Orange Goblin weren’t invited to the party. But rather than tapping on the windows and begging to be let in, they’re the ones tearing around your garden on a stolen moped, drinking super-strength lager, and having a lot more fun than everyone inside. With 12 years of gigging behind them, the Goblin care nothing about whatever’s in on MySpace this week, as they batter down the last of the crowd with a storming 'Scorpionica'.