Credit: Found On Internet

This is how you think Glastonbury will be… green fields and sunshine, wooded glades and relaxed people and smiles not stern trudging faces. Where Michael Eavis and Geoff Hoon both go for a day out. Almost like the cover to watchlight actually.

Arriving on Thursday and managing to get Music Towers compound up a second before the only real downpour of the weekend. Portable PA on… Châteauneuf-du-pape and bbq’d tuna wraps around the campfire and we are sorted for this year's best and most middle-class festival.

Thursday goes by in a drunken blur - some local lads are on the decks and we are playing Tool in our compound. And some guy from Vessels crew is throwing eggs at my head and kicking me for playing 'The Patient' too close to his head..

Friday blurs it’s way into view and I am in the poetry tent with Scroobius Pip – I can’t stay awake anymore as Scroobius Pip takes to the stage, I fall asleep. With my head resting on a baby stinging nettle. 

Metronomy: Jo and his merry gang are playing an odd set in the middle of the afternoon sunshine. They sound great but somewhat out of place. This band needs to be playing at 4am in a secret show. Music Towers can’t remember Cake.

It really isn’t the done thing to review your own show is it? Well, no other fuck is … So Beef Warehouse! This show is surprisingly like a real show – which is funny considering we just press play a lot. We missed a myspace message from Steve Lamaq wanting to do an interview earlier on. We have a warm up act – Justin Spear is getting the crowd shaking their money makers. Andy makes me swear that we do an anti-Guilty Pleasures set tonight – so no cheese or irony – just new brilliant music. Suddenly we have maybe a thousand people in the woods. There is ladies in cat outfits being thrown off the stage. Justice’s 'Waters of Nazareth' make the crowd bounce in sync. Does it Offend You, Yeah? sounds so loud on this sound system. We chuck Slayer ‘Angel of Death’ just really to rinse it. 4 hours of party, god this DJ lark is easier then being in band. Thanks to everyone who came.