Credit: Rockers Digest

Battle of the Bands are usually so humdrum. 90% of the people at any given ‘battle’ will have been ear-ached into going by whichever friend, family member, partner or pub associate happens to be playing in one of the bands. Whom are inevitably shit.

But Rockworld TV and Metal Hammer have gone and done something a bit different. They’ve taken the Battle part of “Battle of the Bands” slightly more literally and really gone to town. With a boxing ring. 

They’ve gone full-on with the schtick too – the four bands are led down to the ring by a girl brandishing their name on a placard, in full boxing robes, while the Rocky theme thunders over the PA. A trio of judges has been assembled – James Gill from Metal Hammer, Saxon frontman Biff Byford and Rockworld TV’s Julia – to pass cursory judgement (although as this is being decided by a phone vote, they’re presence is more cosmetic than anything). And while the great and the good might be across town watching Gallows “rip the motherfucking shit” out of the 100 Club (or so I am infuriatingly informed by text by a witness), the Hammersmith Palais is still packed with a black clad horde that’s most definitely ready to rumble.

The Zico Chain have been given short shrift by being first on tonight. Despite all the bands getting an equal billing, it still casts them firmly as the warm-up act – they’re the bantam-weight tussle that’s just there to kill time until the main event. Add to that that they’re the band with the least amount of visual hooks tonight, and there’s not a lot they can do. The London trio are putting on plenty of fancy footwork, but they’re just not gonna land any blows with any weight behind them against this crowd. They pack their 25-minute slot with fierce Brit-rock like “The Lonely Ones”, but they’re fighting a losing battle, and they know it.

“You guys are all waiting for the guys with swords,” vocalist Chris Glithero remarks towards the end of their set, “the fucking Flintstones”. It’s good-natured frustration, but frustration nonetheless. Tonight isn’t going to be about pure musicianship – it’s about winning over both the audience here in the Palais, and the future TV one that the dozen or so cameras covering the venue are filming it for.