With every man and his MySpace side-project taking increasingly outlandish monikers for their musical indulgences, in our own cynical way we’ve noticed an emerging pattern - the stupider the name, the shitter the songs. A name like Pirate Robot Midget, and Music Towers is imagining all sorts of worrying things.

Such as: when we go to bed tonight, we’re going to imagine a not-yet-made further sequel in The Leprechaun franchise where somehow The Leprechaun doesn’t explode at the end of Leprechaun 4: In Space and somehow goes back in time to torment Edward ‘Blackbeard’ Teach out on the high seas.

Yes, we do have too much time on your hands. Yes, we do stay up too late, watching any old rubbish on ITV4.

Rather than a horrific B-‘Movie abortion though, Pirate Robot Midget are in fact a French-Italian electro-duo operating out of Amsterdam. ‘It’s My Beat Now’ sees guest vocalist, Grand Agent, providing words over beats that sound like they were punched out by Justice’s younger, brattier, punk rock brother. A few sharp dark techno edges to some heavy house rhythms, and your got yourself an aural disco cocktease of a track.

Speaking of those Justice fellows, we had to double-check to make Sanctum’ wasn’t a remix of ‘Phantom’ from the Frenchmen’s world-beating † album. The grinding breaks have more than an air of the familiarity about them. Thankfully ‘So Undead’ shows a bit more of the pair’s own identity. This sounds like the soundtrack to a thousand unmade nightmare cyberpunk movies – if you could somehow channel William Gibson’s Neuromancer through a voodoo Moog, this is what it would sound like.

It’s not on the EP, but here’s Pirate Robot Midget’s remix of Nine Inch Nails’ ‘My Violent Heart’ (wait about a minute…):

With a pair of remixes of the title track by Riva Starr and Dyno, Pirate Robot Midget round off an EP that, for once, lived up to its creators’ absurd pseudonym. For once, the music was more entertaining than the hellish celluloid alternative we conjured up. Who’d have thunk it?

‘It’s My Beat Now’ by Pirate Robot Midget is out now on Hell Yeah Recordings. For more information, point your browser over to their MySpace page.