Credit: Found On Internet

Poor old Luke Pritchard of The Kooks. He’s only just stopped having lazy journalists mention the Katie Melua-connection (oh, erm, yes….) and now he’s getting it in the neck for being a bit rubbish oh Jools Holland this week.

Well boo hoo hoo sunshine, because you won’t find any sympathy here. Apparently it’s been an Angry Week here at Music Towers.

The problem is that if music was cheese, then Konk would be supermarket cheddar – bland, faultless, and flavourlessly rubbery. If, for whatever really-weak-practical-joke reasons, you put supermarket cheddar into someone’s sandwich when they don’t expect it, and their reaction isn’t going to be “OHMYGODWHATHTEHELLISINMYSANDWICHARRRGGHHH!”; it will be “Oh! Some cheddar cheese, I wasn’t expecting that”, before carrying on munching away with barely a further thought about it. No matter how you try to listen to these tracks, they just pass through you. The only change you’ll feel post-Konk is a slight unease that maybe the 40-odd minutes of your life could have been better spent listening to something else.

Note that it would only be a feeling of slight unease – that’s because something with so little cadence, so little that feels of any consequence, it’s hard enough to remember anything about it, let alone to work up a head of steam in annoyance at it.

As much as it pains me to type this sentence, I just can’t see this record having the hooks that its predecessor had. I’ve been playing Konk all week from end to end, and it’s still tough for me to pick out any song that I think is a single. Apparently, one of them is number 3 in the charts, at the time of writing this. And no, this isn’t a case where ‘every song could be a single’ – far from it.

The band might only be in their early twenties, but this is a case of having reached the end of their ideas already. Do yourself a favour – buy something that’s more gongonzola’ish.