Credit: Found On Internet

Listening to a track from ‘Today Is Tonight’ by Chicago’s The Changes is like living on a diet of candyfloss, poorly-salted peanuts and that froth that they stick on top of coffee at Starbucks – afterwards you feel so unsatisfied, you may as well have not have eaten at all. Listening to the whole album feels like you’ve been eating nothing but those three choice foodstuffs for a week; you’re dangerously malnourished and desperate for something with some substance.

While they might bee labelmates with current in-vogue indie-gloomsters, Editors, but The Changes seem almost unremittingly chirpy. Opening track ‘When I Wake’ sounds like the music from some archaic fairground run if Razorlight were covering it for reasons unbeknown to all except Johnny Borrell.

Occasionally something comes out with a bit of sparkle – ‘Such A Scene’ has a vocal production that sounds halfway to Sgt. Pepper-era Beatles tarred on to one of The Cooper Temple Clause’s more sedate riffs. Which alone puts it riffs above most of the current XFM playlist. But then that’s just compensating for ‘Twilight’ - a homage to inoffensive safe funk that so impotent, it could almost be a Jamiroquai filler-track.

I can hear you sucking the air through your teeth at the severity of that judgement – yes, that was harsh, and yes, this deserved it. It is ghastly.

I’m sure there’s someone out there who would like this record, who will feel it provides the final missing piece of the jigsaw that is their life. But those people probably think Hollyoaks is the height of dramatic endeavour. These are the people who list “reading Heat magazine” among their hobbies. Please, don’t let yourself be one of those people. Please, do not buy this record.

‘Today Is Tonight’ is out now on Kitchenware Records. The band tour the UK from September 20 - click here for more details.