Sperm donation – it’s not often we talk about that here on Music Towers. But a new initiative in Ireland is now offering free festival tickets for those who roll their sleeves up and put in a few minutes’ “work”.

 

Apparently sperm stocks in the Republic of Ireland have hit an all-time low, with a 40% slump in donations in the last four years. There’s no other way to describe it – it’s a Sperm Drought.

 

However, the Sperm For Tickets initiative is promising festival tickets for almost every festival taking place in Europe this summer. They are claiming that they have developed a method of transporting sperm donations from anywhere in Europe back to the Republic of Ireland by post in a viable state, and are looking to reimburse anyone donating under the scheme with a full festival ticket as a reward for your “business”. Whether or not a cup of man-milk will enable the scheme to provide you with a ticket to one of the sold-out festivals is not clear, although Music Towers doubts that any amount of hand relief will gain you access to V or T In The Park.

 

Whether or not this turns out to be a horrendous joke in a few days time remains to be seen. Part of me really, really wishes it is, but an equal part of my really, really fears it won’t.

 

UPDATE: The following statement has appeared on their website:

 

"The purpose of this website was to test market interest through a pilot scheme. Applications for donation packs have far exceed the expectations.
Our clients are calling a halt to the invitation to apply for packs,
and will review the results of the scheme to decide on how to proceed.

"All submissions sent to the website are fully protected under Irish privacy regulations, and will not be released to ANY third party.

"If the clinic decide to proceed with the mail system after examining the results of the pilot scheme, all people who applied for donation packs will be contacted."