Credit: Found On Internet

The Eurovision Song Contest always somehow manages to bring out the worst in people. There's always some stuffy git moaning on about political voting. There's always some failed popstar bemoaning as to why they didn't get the UK's nomination, and there's always some wet lettuce of an act that does get chosen, seemingly for the purpose of making British music seem as shoddy as possible. 

This year, the biggest hoo-hah hasn't been about gender-bending transexuals, ridiculous latex-clad shock-rock, or how those Eastern bloc nations all vote for each other (put that tied xenophobic bollocks away now, everyone...) but from French politicans moaning that their entrant, the more-talented-than-Eurovision-really-deseves Sébastien Tellier, was planning to sing 'Divine', a track that - SHOCK AND INDEED HORROR - was sung in both French and English.

Except now, thanks to the meat-headed shoutings of some idiots in suits, Tellier has decided to re-work the song so it is entirely in French. Speaking in a radio interview, Tellier said: "The baguette won't taste any worse tomorrow morning if I sing in English. I'm not going to fight it. I just want to please people".

He went on to say that at no point was he asked to submit a song that was entirely in French: "If I had been asked to do a song expressly for Eurovision, I clearly would have done something in French. If it makes everyone happy, of course I'll make an effort [to sing in French]. I'm not dense".

France has taken legal measures in the past to try to ensure that the cultural hegemony of the English language doesn't destroy the French musical heritage, going so far as to make French radio stations play a set number of hours of French-language music every day. Of course, this pissed off the radio stations no end, who retaliated by sticking their quotient of French music into graveyard shifts. Which had the unforseen effect of facilitating the rise of French-language gangsta rap. It had been deemed "too violent" to get exposure on daytime radio, but thanks to the additional exposure it got as result of the forced French-language programming, became thoroughly successful all across France. No doubt pissing off the right-wing French-purist politicos along the way.