Credit: Found On Internet

About a week ago, I received an email from one of the Music Towers editorial team – asking if any of us wanted to interview Darren Hayes, ex-frontman with Aussie pop rockers Savage Garden. It seemed that a lot of the usual contributors were busy with festivals (or perhaps they’d just mugged the editor off, I mean, Savage Garden?). There’s a new email out, his email says. It’s a double-album, he tries to sound enthusiastic through the medium of email, but even through the tiny 12pt type I can see he’s faking it like a Dutch crackwhore.

“No, sorry, I’m booked up all week,” I lied. And carried on doing what I’d been doing – emailing pictures of monkeys

So here I am, on the train to work, reading the paper and there’s the headline: DARREN HAYES UNDER ARREST FOLLOWING RACIST ATTACK IN THAI RESTAURANT.

Okay, so reading between the lines, this isn’t as sensationalist as the headlines would have it. Turns out Mr Hayes wasn’t arrested in a Mel Gibson-esque drunken stupor, blasting off Prince Philip-isms while swinging punches at the arresting officer. No, it seems after what has been described as “racially abusing a member of staff” at the Busaba Eathai restaurant in Soho, the Aussie rocker handed himself in.

How does that happen? Did this waiter shriek out in the middle of the restaurant “oh my God, you can’t call me [insert your racist slur of choice]! Tomorrow I shall report you to the Bow Street Runners!”

After all, a few weeks ago on an industry insider website, rumours of a chain email being sent around to promote Darren Hayes began to surface. Apparently his partner was emailing journalists looking for some increased media coverage for his boy’s new release. And then phrases such as “DESPERATE” and “SAD SACK” were being bandied about by some people. Which was perhaps not the desired effect.