Credit: Jack Penate and friends crap

Lets take stock of the 5 days in that Beavis’ guys field this week:

Found

Some new friends

One orange torch

One big smelly but well fitting coat

A Tent (there were a few available)

Someone called Shuan gave me £60 to buy/steal my megaphone then buggered off

Someone gave me £50 for helping them up on stage

Lost or Stolen

One Bakerlight Handset that had been rewired as a headphone for mixing made by my missus she is very very angry about it.

One Mini-KP Kaospad a bunch of leeds and rechargeable batteries

Maybe a very tasty bunch of CD’s (not sure yet, a bit too scared to look)

One hat with horns like the devil or a cow

One set of oversize shades I bought on holiday

Dignity on Dancefloor

This is the reason why I didn’t want to go - it costs so much to go to Glastonbury, both personally and financially. In time effort, hard cash, and your best party kit that gets stolen. I always end up losing out. If you found the retro phone handset/kaospad or CD's, please get in touch will give you hard cash.

TOP ACTS

Manu Chao
Where have you been all my life, we wanted 'Bongo Bong' though.

Black Mountain
Ah someone booked a rock band! Aces! Call out the beardo's! Loved the end of their set - "We are going to play one more’. Cue enchanting 15 minute pink floydesque physcadelica. With some very pacey stage managers.

Neil Diamond
What happened to 'Girl You’ll be a Woman Soon'? Or 'Rhinestone Cowboy'? We don’t care about the god songs on the new album. May I also suggest learning the name of where you are: "hellooo Glastonberry".

The Banjo Circus 
The smallest Banjo Circus in the world ever! Made me believe I can do acrobatics. And remind me why redheads are the boss.

Trash City
The random trance of trash city – imagine finding a flaming mad max baddie headquarters at 4am full of crazy midlanders. Could of done with some Lionel Richie though throw a random smack in the middle of it. Nice to meet a 60 year old raver though.