Credit: Metal Hammer Awards

Monday 12 June
Koko

It is often cruelly said that many of the voices transmitted across the airwaves are there because they have a face for radio. Ian Camfield has a gait for radio. Unable to sit still, he paces back and forth the stage at Koko, either like a drunk who keeps moving to keep off the seasickness, or like he's infested with bowel worms.
 
The fourth annual Metal Hammer Awards: The Golden Gods are co-inciding with heavy metal’s leading monthly’s 20th anniversary covering all things downtuned, guitar solo’d and blast-drummed, and Music Towers was on hand to gather as much gossip and free booze as we could lay our filthy hands on.

So what exactly constitutes an "underground" band these days? Is it being underneath the mainstream radar? Is it playing in shitty dives in front of an unappreciative crowd? Or is it being on one of the world's most high-profile metal labels? Supporting Pantera on tour & winning Grammy’s in your home country? Having constant coverage in some of the world's top-selling music magazines? Satyricon, the Norways finest Black metal band go to collect their award for Best Underground Band several years too late.

Throwing out the Icon award early, and to the delight of the teenage boys in the front row, it’s Lacuna Coil’s Cristina Scabbia who receives the honour. Later that night, the band took to the stage giving us a cover of “Enjoy The Silence”.

The non-metal companion is unimpressed: “I bet those screaming kids have never even heard of Depeche Mode”, before slinking off to find someone with an all-access bar pass to flash her cleavage at.

Aiden are presented with the prize for Best Newcomer, I’m not sure if I’ve entered some Nathan Barley-esque “it’s-cool-because-it’s-not-cool-so-it-is-cool,-yeah?” reality. In the last 12 months are we really to be led to believe that the best new metal band is a gang of chubby twits from Seattle? Who’s sole schtick is a watered-down AFI, who themselves are just a watered-down Misfits with better videos? Certain portions of the crowd are of the same mind, and there are as many boo’s as there are cheers for the Emo-pop punk-muppets.